Perhaps I am not enough.
Some days my life is just so tedious, so bleak. I hate bureaucracy, I hate doing stuff where I can't see the end of it. It's not that I dislike slow progress, I just want to feel like each day I truly did something.
I have no purpose in life. I wake up, either work at the company or around the house, then sometimes I spend time on my hobby and end the day going to sleep. I don't really have a goal to achieve.
Burning passion for my work is something I lost long ago. Corporate life is the antithesis of what I enjoy in IT, but it's the most stable source of income.
Fencing is somewhat of a drug for me, I have a lot of fun doing it. I do not believe myself able to achieve something here though, and expectations of my master are weighing on me.
Writing is again - something I do for fun. As soon as I have to translate it before publishing it becomes a tedium. I'm also not comfortable with publishing stuff when it requires cooperation with someone else, so I most likely will never publish my D&D book.
Crafts are what I do when I want something, but it's either too custom or too difficult to obtain. It's not something I do for money, neither something I find great purpose in.
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