Today's training is non-negotiable no matter how shitty I feel. Perhaps that's the best for me. or maybe not, we will see.
I had dreams and nightmares after I woke up at three during night time. Dunno why, but I often wake up around this specific time. After getting something to drink and feeding cats I ended up back in bed, in for a five dreams that got progressively worse and gross.
Fighting is literally antithesis of who I am. I hold inside vast ocean of aggressive tendencies and explosive emotions, blocked by willpower and fears that would make tsunami dams look like toys. When I fight, I always hold back, I never allow myself to use strength. I try to analyse every move of my enemy, looking to my training fr a solution to every situation.
But combat is chaotic, not a staged interaction. As soon as I get into action I hesitate, wait, give in, get stuck on smallest issues.
Well, time for card.
6 : The Lovers
Card often connected to, well, love. Partnership, especially positive one. Harmony, balance, mutual respect, duality.
From the start of tarot we had cards that were sort of foils to each other, opposites or parts of the whole. Lovers card embraces this by being the card of both sides. Man and a woman, light and dark, yin and yang. Some see this card as a choice - you have seen all the options and now they lay before you all together and it's time to choose. This card reminds you that you cannot be everything, and also you shouldn't be everything. What you lack, you shall find in others.
In reverse this is card of disharmony and conflict.
Reversed lovers are a card of imbalance, of dependency of another, misaligned expectations and assumptions. Card of bad decisions, regrets, temptation to act against your core values.
In fact it's a very simple card.
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